I Don’t Know Where Randy Finds These…

…but he really needs to put a “Put down your glass/mug/cup before you read this.” warning on some of them:

France Elevates its Security Level:
“As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from ‘Run’ to ‘Hide’. The normal level is ‘General Arrogance’, and the only two higher levels in France are ‘Surrender’ and ‘Collaborate’. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

“It’s not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:…”